Designated Boyfriend

Often I think a girl , especially a single girl has need of a bodyguard friend. Most often to feel safe in dark alleys after sunset. Or to bring all too enthousiastic suitors back with their feet on the ground.

So guys; when a lady friend calls and asks for her favourite snack*, be a man. Get over there and act like her boyfriend.

*or whatever code word that has been agreed on.

Blonde Sympathy

I am a little too late to call my to dye- adventure a sympathy act for a house mate's recent il-fortune when trying to revert her gorgeous copper locks to the natural blonde. I hope she draws comfort nonetheless from the unfortunate outcome of my home-do.

Some advice ladies; whatever our hair needs; go the to hairdresser. You don't want straw on your head.

Fuckedifuck - II

I have been up since 5am, I have slept 3 hours, I have eaten one bowl of breakfast cereal, 3 thin oatmeal biscuits, one bag of crisps, two glasses of wine and some mints.

Yes I'm tired. No I don't feel well.