Regatta

For some reason or other my university organised a regatta. Apart from the sunshine, the athletic males in tight sports outfit, the pleasant company and the excitement, I also enjoyed it because I won a prize. In the on-shore rowing machine thingy competion for girls I became third (very likely because only three girls competed) and am now the happy owner of a Ghent University T-shirt.

Too ill.

Usually after not having studied I blog about how well the exam went and how I am never going to study again. Not so today.

For three consecutive days I've had a very painful sore throat, as this temporary discomfort diminishes however the headache and feverish complexion appear at the health horizon. These are severe symptoms for a selfprofessed only ill once every two years.

Right now however I got up to tell my professors I'm to ill to think properly let alone study and take exams ( how do do oral exams when your voice is on strike anyway???). And after that I'll get back to bed not leaving until tomorrow 5pm safe to get myself mre hot tea and lavatory escapades.

Do not bother me unless to force a mug of something steaming hot and healthy in my hands.

A dinner date and more unfortunate decisions

The first miserable exam, and what do I do?! Not study harder, not stay at home and pre intensive study read the summery I was so generously provided with by my dinner guest, not be sensible and get to bed early, not get him out of my head, oh no. I cooked my star recipe* for my favourite sister, we drank wine, we went to a café, we were interrupted in our man bashing and beer drinking by a not unattractive young man with a knowledge of Classic Chinese poetry, we went to another café and were joined at our table by a friend of a friend and his friend, we waved and kissed goodbye wishing each other luck and I spent another hour or so reorganising my music library before being to tired for anything but sleep. Nonetheless I woke before midday, ate properly, studied as may be expected from a diligent student, worked on my novel** , wrote mails, drank tea, posted a recipe on this blog as promised and I still feel energetic. A good thing that I have yet to do my exercises or I might be in mood swing inspiring hallucination energy high; And believe me you don't want to see me in such a state, if you want to see me at all.

* Cauliflower Curry; click here for a dutch recipe
** 'working on' here meaning deleting two chapters and starting anew on chapter c

Stumble Check

Inevitably the posts on this blog have been few lately. I realise it and feel inclined to apologise to whosoever checks my blog daily for recreational purposes, please realise that I fully sympathise and know what you are going through. I too have exams. but there's the knack; exams cause such a wave of creative energy that I simply cannot ignore the call of working on the novels I started so long ago and it leaves me little time to fill this on-line journal with my self loathing and witty comments on the stupidity of men, I have now another forum for that.

However I have not forgotten you. Recently I have stumbled upon this page, and if you're bored for three seconds, check it out.

Bored of all Things

The sixth month of the year rapidly approaches and so for all students the time of seclusion draws near. No more surprise visits to friends that live nearby, no more film marathons, no more idle bantering on benching along rivers while sipping tea or wine or port, no more informal dinner parties, no more of anything until the seventh month has begun. I've barely started waking up early, and making notes on a compulsory read or already I am bored. Not so much with the subject of my study for the geopolitics of Central Asia are indeed interesting enough to deserve my attention but with the whole idea of having to go through this period again. Usually I'm company enough for myself but when there is absolutely nobody around all the regular hobbies are stupid too, which regrettably* doesn't stop me from doing them.

* Even less time in a day to get things studied.

Failed

As expected I failed everything. And yes, I am telling/writing/saying this in a very matter of fact tone. What do I really care about school results? What would you care about Grammar or History or Religion or Literature or Vocabulary, if your heart were broken, your spirit dead and the will to live on a semi-permanent holiday?

Check back tomorrow and read how cooking for two rascals, knitting, sipping tea and figuring out my new weekly schedule has cheered me up. You know how I drift between very up to very down in seconds.

And if the unthinkable happens, should I still be miserable 24hrs from now, forgive me, put up with it, bear it as best you can, love or like me no less for it. I ask a lot but I tend to think I deserve it (their goes my therapist's theory of low self esteem, I do so love proving people wrong).

Edit: So maybe I should not have overly depressing stated I failed everything when I didn't even have all my results yet. which means I passed one out of three. Yooiee or maybe not whatever.

"... but I'll burn a candle for you in my heart."

That's what she said, and made an already made day even better. Already made because some three hours earlier someone came into the world of desperately- trying- to- stuff- the- knowledge- I- should- have- gathered- during- occasional- study- hours- in- autumn- when- there- was- light- and- time- aplenty- instead- of- knitting- ten- billion- scarfs- nobody- needs moi to hand a Tupperware item back and strew love, encouragement, inspiration and chocolate candy all around*.

* all around me, my books and two other lucky students seated a few tables away

Highschool Reunion

The official Reunion is next year, it being then five years since we graduated. The unofficial reunion consists of us meeting every year at our high school's annual spaghetti dinner for friends and family so as to raise funds for the last graders' trip. Anyway there I was. Surrounded again by the very people that made my life as a teenager somewhat easier to bear then had I had to do it all by myself. The skinny boys have grown into not unhandsome youngmen, the girls have jobs, husbands, children and plans for the future, I alone seem unchanged.

Five years after the lines of our life untangled, everybody still agrees on one thing; that I am weird and that they knew I was strange from the first week we knew each other. So this is how they remember me? Joy.

So many down...

... only one more to go. And though it is nearly certain that I will fail this one as I failed all the others (except one) , there is joy within me. The occasional glimpse of sunshine through the clouds that are so beautifully threathingly white/ grey/ black/ darkblue and purple? The prospect of seeing friends tonight? The sight of my room in desperate need of a pre-autumn cleaning? The icecream I ate instead of lunch?

Each explanation is just as likely.

Personal Coaches: addition # 2

Name: Sophie Vanonckelen
Post: Big Sister/ Thesis
Function; Continuous meddling in my live expecially those areas that might be considered none of her business / supervise my paper writing skill
Nickname: sister or most sacred and holy wisdom, whatever might best suit context

One down...

... so many more to go, but for now let's remember one down. I've just had an exam, one that I thought would mean the premature end of my academic career. An exam for which my total in hours of study and preparations would not even make up an entire day.

And I passed.

I'm never studying for an exam ever again. Ok, I will. Study. Again. If you'll make me.

Railways

Today I went to the national archives and documentation centre of the Belgian railways. "What for?" You might wonder. To find information. "What information?" On the construction of the first Chinese Railroads and the part of Belgian companies in it. " Did I find anything?" Oh yes, though not at all what I was looking for, and no sources of direct use, but enough to occupy myself for an entire week's evenings.