Sometimes what you want is exactly what you need.

The advice of one of my dearest friends was to concentrate on what I wanted most and then it would be bound to happen. Therefor I have made a list of things I look for in a partner.

Willing to share the responsability for my (adopted) children, or to be extremely willing to procreate.

Be kind.

Make me look up when I feel down and put my feet back on the ground when I'm dreaming.

Love to hold me in their arms.

And above all, I need/want a redhaired life companion, because as I have recently discovered, they are direct descendants from neanderthal (wo)men. This may or may not be a reason to you, since I know this, how could I ever be satisfied with a mere homo sapiens sapiens by my side.


Note: It has recently come to my attention that I have some new followers and for those very few I would like to add this note. Previously you may have read an edited post with a remark about being too personal on-line. The fact that I have not felt the urge to censure this post follows from the fact that is is not meant to be taken all too seriously. Unless you have red hair and might like me ;-).

Crushing Despair (edit)

As I realised while going out for some fresh air, I have been too personal again; thus the following is an edit of what I typed three hours earlier.

The title of this post may ring a bell for those among you that read Order of the Stick and/or play D&D and/ or feel hopeless from time to time without much reason.

I am not being crushed yet, but I'm falling for you again. Yes, YOU! You know I mean YOU! And I don't want to be falling. I want to be ready for something new.

Don't be gone from my life, I value you very much as a friend, but you mustn't ever be anything else.

I'm not in love

Oh no.

I'm not in love. But that can only mean that quite soon I will be and though I always know, whenever I'm bound to fall hard for someone it's not going to be, now I'm even more sure that I don't want t o be in love. It would make my life too complicated by far.

And anyway since when have I and handsome men been a match?

Stappling

You Are a Stapler

No matter how much chaos strikes, you're the one who keeps everyone together. You cut to the chase, and you're willing to give people an abrupt lesson in tough love. People may not appreciate you in at times, but everything would be a mess without you. You would make a CEO. You do best when you can exert your power.

What Office Supply Are You?

I really doubt it. I prefer paperclips by far.

The girl talks to animals

Yesterday, being the lazy lazy lazy good for nothing I work very hard for to be, as I was waiting for the tramway to take me to my saturdaymorning classes; I saw a girl feeding her sandwich leftover to wandering pigeons.

So far, nothing out of the ordinary. Not even the fact she tried to recommend her sandwich above the spat out chewing the curious little beast were also pecking at, no no. I expect nothing less than to hear how good wholewheat bread is for little birdsie hearts. But to apologise-at length, even- when I should accidentally hit a bird with a pice of crust well i probably wouldn't, but she did and earned my life-long respect in the process.

A Child

Of all things I want, I want one thing most. And all my dear friends, even my not so dear friends and family are aware of it, or should be.

Thus it should be a shock for none of my readers to learn I want a child. Most of my readers have in fact alreadt pledged me their full support. And yet...

Is this everything I want in life? I do think so. Wouldn't it be better to want more things but not so intesively, so as to increase my chances of success? I doubt it. I never want anything only a little bit, when I long for something/someone it is always with all of my heart.

There. There is nothing more, not to say, not to be said.

The Heartache

A highly unoriginal title. Not for a post of my writing. But it is all I can say. My job I like well enough though it is not the happy sunshine fairyland I might have wished for in a naïve and semi-sober moment. It is not doubt of what the future may bring that worries me, I intend fully to stick to my one-month old plan, no.

No, it is the old heart that troubles me. It seems that I will never be rid of its fancies and follies. An dit hurts. Like papercuts in the tips of my fingers, it hurts. I know not to fight feelings, I know better far better than to be subdued by them. My mind is clear in that. But my heart knows nothing and still feels. Feels as if it never felt pain. Feels as if love needs only that, that a heart wants to love back. Sorrow upon sorrow I heave and I can only hope that the little joys of life lighten the burden. Idle hope but still hope.