So this is Goodbye

My dear friends, readers, listeners,...

Hello audience and goodbye audience. This; in a shorter sentences than you are used of reading here is all that there is left.

For many many sad and wonderfull years this place has been my home on the internet and it has been my pleasure, frustration and education to be read and ignored alike. In a few day's time I will for the last time invite you alls to celebrate my Birthday  (along with a list of presents I might like -that's how I roll). But on August 1, it is goodbye.

Goodbye.

Descending trend.

I could almost not imagine a better start of a day and in the mood of optimism that hexes me of late I even thought it would be a good day. But of course it wasn't.

The carefully planned day at the office turned into a complete disaster.

The dinner I cooked was rubbish, I don't care everybody said they liked it, of course they would say that; it's free food. Everybody likes free food.

The laundry I did came out purple or shrunk or torn. In other words: goodbye bikini! And where am I going to find anything my size with little over 24h to before I leave, time that has to include two restfull nights and full day at work?

I ate way too much brownie and now I might possibly be sick tomorrow.

I forgot to check whether or not I need a seperate passport to fly to Turkey, for all I know I might not even get on the plane and then my dearest Shirahime will hate me forever.

I didn't have the courage to deny help in doing the dishes, goodbye washing-up therapy.

Crushing Despair (edit)

As I realised while going out for some fresh air, I have been too personal again; thus the following is an edit of what I typed three hours earlier.

The title of this post may ring a bell for those among you that read Order of the Stick and/or play D&D and/ or feel hopeless from time to time without much reason.

I am not being crushed yet, but I'm falling for you again. Yes, YOU! You know I mean YOU! And I don't want to be falling. I want to be ready for something new.

Don't be gone from my life, I value you very much as a friend, but you mustn't ever be anything else.

(Not so) Happy Birthday

Don't pity me, don't comfort me, don't ask. I shall be well again. If only because my friends deserve better than to worry constantly whether I'm happy enough.

Birthday Wishlist

I spent most of yesterday wondering whether it was really so hard to see that sometimes all one needs is a hug. In view of that here's a list of what I want come september 18.

• pair of kisses
• 1 cuddly hug
• 1 marriage proposal
• throwing axe
• 10-week course in throwing axes
• 2 bottles of medicin against heartache
• some courage to confide a secret

I'm not in love

There's this song. I think George Michael sings it. "I'm not in love... Oh no ho"

Well, I'm not in love.

But I wish I was, it would give me a reason for being angry and miserable. It would be at the very least a hint of explanation for the constant shifts in my mood.