Halfway Mark

60 days gone, 60 days to go. So far the response has been within the expected bounderies, which sounds a lot more negative than I mean it to be. Combined with the happy news of the printing company that a mere 500 EUR (half the projected amount) will suffice for the first 1000 cards, I dare say we' re well under way to a success.

I can only ask my dear readers and backers to share share  and share this link. In crowdfunding promotion is everything.

Alarming

Sounds alarmingly like me. What am I going to do when this happiness ends? That I wonder.

Too many feelings

In between relief, happiness, confusion, self-hate and anticipation there isn't much left for me to feel.

I don't know how many of you need further explanation of any of the above, it's complicated.


Relief of some sort that I finally got the word 'friendship' out. Happy or the closest to happy I've been since 11 march 2005 because for once I did not wake up hoping I hadn't. Confusion all-round because what I did think was how nice it is to get along with boys. Self-hate because that's not a feeling for me it's part of my character and finally anticipation which I can live with, looking forward to friends coming over for ice-cream and port rocks.

Watch Out! Fantasy on the loose

I planned a lot of posts here but my messed op life rythm is not only putting me asleep at weird hours, it also overstimulates my creativity. Before I went to bed this morning I thought about a post I planned concerning how and where and when (and most importantly by whom) my birthdayparty would be organised, I ended up dreaming very weird situations with hockey sticks, polar bears (both dead and alive), biomedical doctoral thesisses, gigantic silver earrings and pink snowscooters. I don't suppose you want to know. Factual posts however might be too much ask for from me this time.

Dirty Mind

During the watching of my first Star Wars film ever, I exclaimed something in the like of "Is there something a droid cannot do?" Upon which came the reply " Making little droids." Ever since I've been having disturbing recurring dreams of R2's having sex. Do I qualify as a pervert now?

New Zealand

It's the country of my dreams. And when casting but a glimpse on the picture on your right, you'll have no difficulty understanding why. How I long to be off. And how I long for someone to be off with me. Just my luck to fall in love with the wrong men and the wrong countries.

Waltz

Very very very early this morning, I was asked for a waltz. A twitch short of 'My lady, may I have this dance?' but still standing up, bowing slightly forward, reaching me a hand, an inquisitive look on the face, a kiss on the hand afterwards and no reproach whatsoever for ruining his ballroom dance enjoyment by trampling his feet like a herd of mad elephants. Had I worn a gown, a dress, a skirt even, I'd have felt like a princess.

But I guess it only goes to show that if you show enough cleavage, any man can turn into a gentleman.

My Heart

You might think you know all about it by now. I sure do a poor job at hiding my feelings, and I'm not hiding them now.

My heart leaps, jumps, skips, beats and springs up when I walk my fixed routes through town. It flits, flots, floats, flirts and flies circles around the sun. I'm in love. With a man. One man (but in a way that I can bear it). And life.

Now all the task that is before me is to maintain this state of being for a year or two. By which time I hope to be heartbroken and sufficiently disappointed in life to write my award winning debut novel. 'tis but a dream I know. Tomorrow I shall be in love still but only with a man and I will be miserable again. As long as it lasts however I'll wear a smile upon my face.

Names I like

Names for my future daughters and sons:

Andreas, Angua, Annabeth, Arutha, Athena Nikè, Aurelia, Baruch, Beëlzebub, Blodwyn,Cinnamuna, Engel, Ephebe, Faramir, Florens, Friedrich, Galadriël, Havelock, Hera, Heroïn, Leizhu, Montague, Ophelia, Rein, Satan, Sebastian, Sfinx, Thorvald, Thyme, Werther, Wodan, Wolfgang, Xiang, Yume

James Nesbitt

It was rather time for another picture of a not unhandsome man. And then why not a fine actor with comic talent and a very very very very sexy voice?

Anniversary

It's been one year today since I first saw my longtime (pen-)friend Flippr (no that's not her real name and no that's not a typo either) And I can honestly say my life hasn't been the same since I met her. It is a sad fact that she is a woman, a mother and married, for had she been none of the above I think I might have fallen head over heels in love.

And in a non-romantic way I have fallen head over heels in love. As soon as the typing ends, I'll be writing a proper letter. She more then deserves it.

A partial undetailed chaotic and nearly true account of certain events.

Once upon a time, there was a little girl M, when she was 18 she went to university and some years later she fell in love. And with the realisation of her affection came the realisation that the feelings would never be returned, thus she learned how to or at least tried to be just a friend.

Alas my account is not a simple fairytale, there was also the other boy of whom some thought he liked her beyond liking, which she scarcely believed though she would not have minded, days went past and she grew to like him more then a friend, less then a lover, only to realise once again too late that the feeling was by no means mutual.


There you go; it's over. Not what I feel. Not the doubt about what I feel but the doubt over what he might feel for me. Whereas I usually realise it's not going to be anything within seconds of realising I'm in love, I've realised he might have been the one some three hours after learning he wasn't and thus probably never will be interested in me.

The 2006-2007 season promises to be a good one for cultivating grief and I could not be more happy for it, I've missed the Weltschmerzen in my life these past few months in which I was silly enough to hope.

Kiss in style

You're a Romantic Kisser

For you, kissing is all about feeling the romance You love to kiss under the stars or by the sea The perfect kiss involves the perfect mood It's pretty common for kisses to sweep you off your feet

What Kind of Kisser Are You?

Happy Family

A happy little family; a friend , her significant other and their son.

Can't image myself with a man plus baby in this stage of life. Can't even imagine myself there, five years from now. In fact me plus man plus child sounds weird anytime. Weird but not unpleasant so maybe someday...should the world depopulace too quickly I might take it upon me to do as mother nature intended. But don't count on it.