Och, that poor boy.

Mein Gott, what have I done?! I can barely believe it. I have brushed my teeth and rinsed my mought twice, I may have to wash it out with soap to be fully cleansed.
Mere hours after being pinched in the butt by some random possibly not fully sober ( it's hard to tell the foul stink of alcohol was neatly concealed under the stench of fat, bbq sauce and garlic) stranger. I actually felt pity for a man. I have said in audible voice and not even my regular mutter: "Och, that poor boy". You have reason to suspect something is not well.

Lessons for Men: A

You may assume that a woman wants to go to bed with you if you are both sober, kissing each other and she is unzipping your pants. If for example, a fully clothed woman walking across the street turns her head in the direction of the cry "Hey you, with the pink T-shirt" to cast the shouter a look that says "If my eyes were bullets there'd be hole in your forehead and if you were standing beside me you might have had to permanently broke off any plans you had in the direction of producing offspring." and thereby accidentally meets his eye (him being you), it is not -I repeat NOT- okay to hastily cross the street nearly causing a car to crash into a cycler and two walking girls, tap the woman who would have your guts for breakfast if she'd get away with it on the shoulder, pinch her butt and say "Pussy have you got any plans for tonight?"

If you recognise this situation, you damn well deserved the smack on your head. You damn well deserved an elbow in your ribs, the unsoft touch of a woman's knee in your groins and a punch in the face to make your nose bleed also, but I unlike others know boundaries.

Self Esteem

No surprises there. The question is, as always, HOW?

You Have Low Self Esteem 64% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

It's Happy Bunny

Well it isn't but nonetheless I suggest you deal with it. I won't.

The Experiment

Today, in a prolonged state of post-exam stream of impracticable creativity, I baked chocolate cakes in the microwave.

Batch I:
Bitability: 100 aka rock hard
Taste: -5 aka burnt chocolate

Batch II:
Bitability: 0 aka sticky dough
Taste: 6 aka doughy brownie

Batch III:
Bitability: 10 aka perfectly squishy
Taste: 10 aka not so doughy brownie

There goes my reputation as a superb cook.

Unreconcilable Expectations

Quote #7

How true this is.

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman (attributed)

Weather

Today we've had; spring drizzle, early summer sun plus fluffy clouds, hail storm, lightning, thunder, autumnlike downpour and swift rapidly darkening rainclouds. Not exactly summertime weather. Not even in Belgium. Maxi mushi. I'm sure the princess will agree.

Purple II

You Need Some Purple in Your Life

Purple will make you feel ambitious, independent, and creative. And with a little purple, you will project an aura of individuality. If you want more extravagance, you've got to get a little purple in your life! For extra punch: Combine purple with green or orange The downside of purple: It can evoke sad feelings The consequences of more purple in your life: You will feel an increase in your artistic abilities You will find balance in the most chaotic parts of your life You will feel calm and will be hard to disturb

What Color Do You Need?

Women's Liberation Movement

Very little of the above holds true for me, but as long as woman is made to suffer for the mere fact of being a woman, the battle isn't fought, isn't over, isn't won.

Comforting

I have great experience in comforting. People are always telling me to cheer up, to look on the bright side, to cry it all out and start anew. Patting me on the back, hugging, force-feeding me chocolate. It's the fact they care (or pretend to) that somewhat cheers me never the words or the gestures. I often think or rather wish that I would be better at it, that I when faced with the despair of another would have the empathy it takes to lift his/her spirit.

But today, all I can think of is to pick up the phone, ask her to come over, offer to provide supper and a shoulder to cry on, suggest a short time away from it all, tell her to get a grip as so often she has told me. It doesn't matter I'm going through a similar phase, it helps nothing that I too am hurt. I can only feel as helpless as when it is I that needs comforting.

Rain II

Apparently this is the second post about rain. I just love rain. It's so beautiful and so violent. I could not not like it. There is also a twidge of thunder and lightning coming along but I really have to get to bed now. I'll see the damage tomorrow.

Story of my life in a short anecdote

Everybody gets tired of staying indoors all-day don't they? So at around 9:30pm I decide to take a stroll in the park, if daylight and occupation level of benches allows for it maybe even sit down for a while and read at bit. ( Ach the lure of a newfound Sue Townsend book) of course it is June, even in Belgium this means at least a slight chance of agreeable temperatures at nearly sundown, so pretty much every suitable desirable spot was occupied. Never despair they say so I act the crazy eight-year old that I actually am and start taking pictures of bark and leaves, getting bored at bark five (I'm eight years old after all) I spot a quiet place an decide upon it. While moving at slightly higher than normal walking speed along the shortest possible line to my spotted seat I am addressed by a total stranger.
'Hey girl, can I talk to you?' I give him the look- expressing my resentment at being addressed as 'girl', make no comment but think 'You already are talking to me'. I consider the conversation closed and move on my way, he leaps up takes two steps towards me and says 'Can we sit some place together, I want to talk to you'. I cast him another look - meaning: I figured as much when you first spoke but I DON'T want to talk to you, and I say (in a very uninviting tone) 'I'm just talking a walk to get some fresh air, I should be studying' (which was only partly a lie). 'Then can I have your telephone number?' 'No, I don't give my number to strangers.' 'But this is the way people get to know each other.' Casting the yeah right-look. 'Whatever.' And I make for home mildly annoyed not being able to read a chapter or two in the evening glare.
This is what happens when you have too high expectations of men. I thought it was obvious that I was not interested in talking, that I wanted me-time and that in my eyes men are a life-form two grades lower than earthworms. I thought black men were good at body language. I thought evasive answers were preferable to insults. Of course I could have been clearer but smacking someone on the head seems such a violent way of saying 'Get you're hands of me and no I won't be here again tomorrow'. Is there a mathematical rule revealed to boys only in which 'girl with big breasts' equals 'cheap whore'? I mean, seriously, is there?

Happy birthday to me

I'll be 23 in exactly three months and it's a horrid thought. 23. And I haven't achieved anything yet. Possible exceptions are; a circle of close friends, the perfect cauliflower curry, 4 pages of a Nobel prize worthy novel and the knitting of multiple tops and scarves nobody asked for. Nothing to be proud of. Nothing.

You may gather from this that the bad mood is back. Don't tell me to eat chocolate, don't 'wiiiiie', don't talk to me, don't bother; I have to learn to make it through the dark spots alone, after all it's merely what everybody else does.

Tattoo Thought

A thought for the recently tattooed cooking coach. Although she may already know that she kicks ass and is way more cool than any of us.

Help

I appear to be in danger of becoming unstoppably content with my life, only one step away of happiness. It will only last as long as this day but still the thought is frightening.

On a side note: Read Jay McInerney. The guy's a genius.

Edit: I've even started cleaning up. And found a knife back, now this calls for a celebration.

Messing Up

How wrong can they be? Muhahaha

You Are a Little Messy

You aren't the cleanest person in the world, but you're definitely not a slob. You clean up when you have the time, but you're realistic about what you can get done. Generally, you're pretty organized and tidy - though you may have a few hidden messes. You eventually get around to making things spotless, but you do it on your own schedule!

Are You Messy?

A lunchbreak with youtube

I'm bored and then these things happen.

Kill thy neighbour

I stumbled upon it. Read it as I did here, or simply read on.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Dead Sexy

Upon suggestion of my elder sister. Why not post some eye candy that has passed on to the next world?!

Clickety

Just for the heck of it. And maybe because it's more fun than Buddhist texts in Classic Chinese, I've started a new blog. One with pictures. Those that want to join have but to ask. Those that want to visit have but to click. Or look on the left.

Listen...

It's unlikely to be the advice I'm going to give my child, but I wish someone had told me when I was ten years younger.

Contentment

Tired of studying already I flee to my room. And as I logged on to MSN this phrase popped in my head: 'In contentment lies enlightenment'
I'm not really sure what it means yet. I'm not even sure whether it's an original thought or whether maybe I've read it somewhere and remembered as it is applicable to my situation, but i'm damn sure it is true.

Big mouth?

So true. So very true.

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both flirtatious and intimidating. Your friends are secretly put off by your seductive powers. And strangers either fear you or obsess over you - sometimes both. No way to fight it - you're a natural vamp. Or rake.

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

Chocolate Milk

I am not so well. I will not be in touch. I wish to be left alone. I have been hurt. I am paining. All hope is not lost to have the friend I so very much wanted but it will take a lot of swallowing my pride. I'm not ready for it yet. But I have Chocolate milk to comfort me in the meanwhile.

Rant III

A lot of somebodies had beter not be disturbing me today. Or wait. They already have. As if it isn't good manners to ask if someone wants/needs/appreciates company. As if silence and monosyllabic answer aren't clue enough for someone who has known me my entire life. As if it wasn't more than obvious that I'm in a gloomy gloomy mood. And by the way, since when does 'can I bother you five minutes I need to print something urgently' mean 'I'm going to stay at your plave for nearly eight hours, I'll complain about the dirt, crumble my breakfast over your keyboard, eat half your lunch and laugh at my own insignificant jokes'? Oh enlightenment, were art thou?

Heaven is a place on-line

Honestly, what did I want a man for, again? Here is everything I ever needed and wanted.

A dinner date and more unfortunate decisions

The first miserable exam, and what do I do?! Not study harder, not stay at home and pre intensive study read the summery I was so generously provided with by my dinner guest, not be sensible and get to bed early, not get him out of my head, oh no. I cooked my star recipe* for my favourite sister, we drank wine, we went to a café, we were interrupted in our man bashing and beer drinking by a not unattractive young man with a knowledge of Classic Chinese poetry, we went to another café and were joined at our table by a friend of a friend and his friend, we waved and kissed goodbye wishing each other luck and I spent another hour or so reorganising my music library before being to tired for anything but sleep. Nonetheless I woke before midday, ate properly, studied as may be expected from a diligent student, worked on my novel** , wrote mails, drank tea, posted a recipe on this blog as promised and I still feel energetic. A good thing that I have yet to do my exercises or I might be in mood swing inspiring hallucination energy high; And believe me you don't want to see me in such a state, if you want to see me at all.

* Cauliflower Curry; click here for a dutch recipe
** 'working on' here meaning deleting two chapters and starting anew on chapter c

Stumble Check

Inevitably the posts on this blog have been few lately. I realise it and feel inclined to apologise to whosoever checks my blog daily for recreational purposes, please realise that I fully sympathise and know what you are going through. I too have exams. but there's the knack; exams cause such a wave of creative energy that I simply cannot ignore the call of working on the novels I started so long ago and it leaves me little time to fill this on-line journal with my self loathing and witty comments on the stupidity of men, I have now another forum for that.

However I have not forgotten you. Recently I have stumbled upon this page, and if you're bored for three seconds, check it out.

Scrapcooking

Regular visitors of my profile may know it already. The lucky few that I initially invited to join and their boyfriends have known since set-up and now all of you know: I've started yet another blog. Click on any of the various links in this post to be taking there.

Should you feel like joining, here is a list of requirements:
-read and write Dutch fluently
-a passion for food and drinks

and that's it leave a comment (here) or mail me.