Quote #10

By lack of a more fitting quote on birthdays, I give thee:

One must still have chaos in oneself to give birth to a dancing star.

Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra,

German philosopher (1844 - 1900)

23

I've gotten the first gift. The first birthday card. And the first gift voucher. I've checked with the bank and my paycheck has arrived. All I await now is a phonecall from Mr. Way-Out-Of-My-League to wish me happy birthday and profess his deep and unchanging love for me (as if).

Edit: Add in another gift voucher, another gift, 4 text messages, 4 forum congrats and 1 comment. Have I mentioned liking you lot?

SMILE

Upon professing having smiled at a waiter it is suggested the man be tipped extra. After announcing smiling at a man in need of encouragement, the wish to have seen my smile is made known. Continually my mother mocks my frowns with 'You are so much more beautiful when you smile'. My laughs are checked by my sisters unbearance of them.

Question: Do I really smile that little?

The Menu

As promised in this blogpost; the full menu.

Garlic Bread

Lendae Salad

Courgettes à la Martine

***

Teriyaki marinated Lambchops, Merquez and Tofu

Wasabi Balls and Dinosaurs

Vegetable and Stuff Sauce

2 Styles of Rice

***

Chocolate Cake

Almond Cake

Baclava

Pear and Lemon Sorbet

Coconut Straciatelli

Raw Ginger Ice

Pumpkin Spice Yoghurt Ice

Sesame Pudding Ice

Coffee Icecream

Drinks will include:

Ginger Tea

Princess Spunk

Red Wine

Tonic

Orange Juice

Mineral Water

Anything else that you might want, you had better bring yourselve.

A hint

Three things (among others) I judge men on:

1. hands
2. sense of humour
3. subttleness of staring at my boobs

This is what I'm wearing

Mine is blue: Cute but kind of evil.

Let the computer decide who I really am

I can't seem to help it, by lack of a real subject to blog about, I do five on-line personality tests per day. This is what picking the colour green above any other tells about me:

Green is the color of healing.

Green personalities want to help every one. These people can usually be found in the medical profession or some occupation which helps people. Preferring to watch rather than to become involved in others business, they usually keep their thoughts secret. Others see them as good listeners because of this quality. This characteristic makes them wonderful counselors.

Green personalities make others feel at home in their house by putting them at ease immediately. They try to take care of others and they want harmony in every one's life. Green personalities may even stop an argument between others by starting one themselves. Green personalities make the best of friends because they are jovial, caring and can keep a secret.

In order for a green personality to feel good about themselves, they have to be helping someone or something. Nurturers by choice, they are the ones who take care of animals, humans and plants

Quote #9

I do not concurr mister Barrie. If love has a rainbow it is seven shades of grey.

Let no one who loves be unhappy, even love unreturned has its rainbow.

James M. Barrie, Scottish dramatist & novelist (1860 - 1937)

Invitations II

You have three days left to make your attendance to THE Three Ton Baclava Party known, if you should show up, you will not be provided with wholesome food but will have to make do with leftover cake and the drinks you bring yourselves. Can't say I didn't warn you.

Where are my friends?

Abroad apparently. Or decorating their apartments, quarreling with their loved ones, at home and at ease, all blissfully unaware of how I struggle to keep up the appearance of happiness.

That was perhaps not the wisest thing to say but i cannot pretend 24/7. And a little rant is always better than staying in bed, refusing refreshments or books and cry over every little speck of misfortune. I am after all not that miserable; I have just improved my 3D pinball record.

Parenthood I

As the want for offspring defines itself clearer and clearer in my life, I'm trying to find out how well I'd do having to cater for six little brats and their father while cleaning up their mess and not letting go of my own life. The result of this test cannot but fill me with dispair what would a computer program know about my parental skills?

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need.You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law.While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top.You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

Plint Party

I wonder what keeps me from entering the catering bussiness? Just for the heck of it I'm having a little house warming party tomorrow. And if you read this, you are invited.

We will be having stir-fried fish with mediterranean herbs and a carrot-potatoe oven casserole. Bring your own wine though, I'd love the provide the spirits but alas I am temporarily out of funds.

And now I'm off to grab some lunch and put up posters.

Too ill.

Usually after not having studied I blog about how well the exam went and how I am never going to study again. Not so today.

For three consecutive days I've had a very painful sore throat, as this temporary discomfort diminishes however the headache and feverish complexion appear at the health horizon. These are severe symptoms for a selfprofessed only ill once every two years.

Right now however I got up to tell my professors I'm to ill to think properly let alone study and take exams ( how do do oral exams when your voice is on strike anyway???). And after that I'll get back to bed not leaving until tomorrow 5pm safe to get myself mre hot tea and lavatory escapades.

Do not bother me unless to force a mug of something steaming hot and healthy in my hands.

Invitations

38 invitations have been sent out. Not counting my housemates.

Should they all come I have a problem. A space, time, food, money problem. However ( as has been cleverly pointed out by an invité who happens to have just read his invitations in pretty much the same room as I am in now and has asked for the menu prior to his consent which of course I have refused for it is only proper that everyone waits his/her turn) hardly ever does everyone you invite show up.

Conclusion I'm catering for about 12 people. Everybody else will have to stuff themselves with cake.

P.S. The full menu will be published one week prior to the festivities, I expect all rsvp's by then.

Quote #8

September tries its best to have us forget summer.

Bern Williams

Pizza Style

Meatball Pizza

Unusual and uncompromising.You're usually the first to discover a new trend.You appreciate a good meal and good company.You're an interesting blend of traditional and modern.

What's" Your Pizza Personality?

September

Finally my favourite month has commenced (I love use the word commenced, sound so much more educated than 'started'). That is good news because A] in mere hours I will no longer be responsible for the watering of plants, cleaning of floors, emptying of mailbox and feeding of chickens, a pig, a guinee pig, two cats, a pondful of goldfish and a younger sister (the latter especialy is prone to complain about quality and quantity of the dish provided), in mere hours my parents will be back from a weeklong trip to the heart of Germany (the geographical heart that is), God knows what they were looking for there. B] The day my paycheck arrives draws near. C] It's my birthday soon.

And best of all D] Autumn is on it's way. I love autumn.

Fuckedifuck

That's what happens when I have exams, sleep little and drink coffee.

Not Goddamnit. Not Sodding Sod. Not Plopperdeplop.

For your own mental health I advise you to stay out of my neighbourhood the next week at least.

Avid Reader

I have entertained you before about the genius of Stumble Upon. Now I have redicovered this little link.

We all have or had that feeling, the undeniable urge to go to the library or a bookshop but upon arrival found ourselves clueless as to what to read next. Well this little webpage is going to help you out.

What to do?

You've guessed it: I'm bored.

And what can I do about it?

Study?

Cook?

Write?

Read?

Or do as I usually do; waste my time on-line and wonder afterwards what went wrong where?

I'd say; You tell me. But it's been very quiet in the comment section lately.

Bugger.

The Job - II

Loot
- 1, 24 €
- silver earring
- 1 can of Pringles 'Hot&Spicy'
- 1 chicklit ' Temptation in the air'
- 2 pencils
- 3 pairs of sunglasses
- white hat
- can of orange juice
- can of Red Bull light
- 2 keys
- 2 glossy magazines
- multitool
- map of Brussels
- 1 pacifier
- 11 ballpoints
- 1 fountainpen
- 2 umbrellas
- lighter
- giant box of marshmellows

It goes without saying that I gave away a lot of this stuff.

Medical File
- 2 torn fingernails
- aching back
- blocked nose

Paycheck
Around 2000€, probably somewhat less, but I ain't complaining.

On the border

Thx, just what I needed to hear, to brighten my day.

You Are 61% Borderline

Many signs point toward you having a borderline personality.It's probably a good idea to seek therapy. Or at least read a self help book.

Do You Have a Borderline Personality?

Hail DM !

Yes, you did read the title of this post correctly. I AM singing the praise of a man. But he deserves it, today I received or rather today I read a mail he sent with more and better news/info than I could dream off let alone could imagine.

Right, so possibly this is exagerated but for the once in three years I get an unexpected, unsolicited, yet welcome message from a Y-chromosome equipped fellow humanoïd, praise must be given. Plus his girlfriend is always happy when I compliment him, this is so going to land me extra lasagne next we meet.

Happiness is...

... making a birthday crown plus candle from a scrap of yellow paper, only to see the former being sported the entire day by the birthday boy concerned and hear him go up the stairs singing ' I am a king for today...'
... perfect, superb, exquisite lasagne
... cheap champaign

Confusion is...

... not knowing what exactly it is you feel about that certain someone

Unhappiness is...
... realising you WILL fall in love again either with him or a stranger that everybody swears is just waiting for me to say 'Hi'


Life sucks

The kindness of strangers

Warning: I had planned a post titled 'leeches' on how strange it is that some people at a mere hint of friendliness suck themselves into your life oblivious of how unwanted they are. Workshift switching fatigue has decided against it but you may find fragments of irritation of the same nature in the post below.

Looking nearly my least attractive I seem to still appeal to strangers in such a way that it is impossible for them to check notice boards or ask the railway station attendant their trivial questions. No, it is much more preferable to bother me while I'm enjoying my last carefree minutes before I have to start working. In exchange for my quick and acurate answers they are so generous as to provide me with advice. Unsollicited advice, there are few things I like less. And for your information, you personal space invading overly motherly middle aged cow, I'm not cold I wear short untill half November.

After the night shift, knowing I have at least two hours before I can get a train. I slowly walk to the station and make for the central waiting room so as not to be stuck alone on a extremely well-lit sterile platform. For the first quarter or so my companions are sleeping homeless people so napping is out of the question. I get into ready-to-doze-off modus and stare blankly at the not-so-cunningly artistic pattern of floortiles. An hour and a half of waiting to go and there appears my knight in shining armour, sent by divine purpose to warm my lonely nights or sit close enough to thouroughly disgust me with his improper English, arrogant patronising smile, cheap compliments, barely audible whisper and the assumption it is ok to just caress/hug/kiss random strangers. Good thing my nose is blocked from working in airconditioned spaces or I might have reeked the stench of alcohol on him too. Have I asked for this nitwit to lure me into giving my phone number (do not panic loyal readers I was tired not naïve), did I unwillingly invite him to declare his eternal love and friendship by not moodily barking out my independance as I would usually do but smile a tired yet possibly apreciating looking smile as he cycles by waving at everybody caring to look? It would seem so.

Well if glazy eyes, unkept hair, worn out pink trainers, cereleum blue sneaker socks, dirty beige shorts, an oversized light blue sweater, pink/purple stains of paint on all exposed body parts, unshaven legs and the unsual smell of disinfecting soap mixed with waste heap stink and restroom odour are what it takes. Watch out, menfolk, here I come!

Rant III or IV ( I'm too lazy to check)

In order to completely understand what I am complaining about you must know the following facts. I have a holiday job. This job is with the Belgian railways. Everybody and I do mean every single person that works at the Belgian railways receives a fluorescent yellow vest (available in the sizes small and extra large so whichever you choose it won't ever fit no matter how much weight you loose or gain) upon signing contract. This is because everybody that works at the Belgian railways (or so they make you think) must occasionally walk between the tracks and must then for everyones safety be as visible as possible.

The yellow vest now is so much associated with railway personnel that I cannot stir in it or I am asked questions on how come the train is late (note that this is the same train I have to take to get at the workspot in time), if there is nothing we (probably meaning the belgian railways) can do about all the people standing up in the train, by lack of seats (forbidding grandmothers with 3+ grandchildren going to the sea on pain of being branded out an eye with a red hot poker sprang to mind, but I managed to keep my mouth shut), if there is more than one train going from Blankenberge to Antwerp per day (seriously who wants to go to Antwerp? Then again who wants to be stuck in Blankenberge, it's bad enough to work there.) etc, etc, etc. This I do not even want to complain about, jobly hazard or something.

But today, still sporting my yellow vest I arrive at platform 7 whence my train leaves at 16h33, I get seated leaving one chair between me and my neighbours on either side. I take off my vest and start folding it in order to put it away. Barely has the man on my left (of course it had to be man) spotted the fluorescent yellow or he comes closer and starts telling me about his day and his job and yada yada yada. By nature I am a curious person, I want to know everything, whenever and whatever people tell me intrigues me and I always wonder about what they aren't telling me. Provided that what they are telling is something I don't already know, can't guess myself and isn't being breathed into my face alongside the not so pleasant smell of cheap beer and soggy yet smoldering cigarettes. And incidentally, yes just-together couples can be very cute but not when they are practically undressing themselves and eachother on the platform and he keeps whispering (or whatever the softest still audible 12 yards away voice is) in her ear how much he would like to make love to her. And even if they were cute, there is no need to point this out to someone who is very busy not falling in love again.

The Three Ton Baclava Party...

... aKa M is growing old and throws a party.

Starring

myself as the birthday girl

lots of food as lots of food
my friends as the invited
my enemies as the unwelcome
Lucas Munichstraat 33 as the place to be
september 22 as a date to remember
7 pm as a good moment to arrive

Please bring the following:

yourself

your other self

fun acquaintances

lots of presents

Please leave behind the following:

noisy and nosy relatives

alcohol left-overs

tasteless presents

More posts

I need to post more to prevent my entry rate from dropping at an alarming speed. However if I only write to say nothing whatsoever the attraction of this blog diminishes, meaning less people will like to come by and read and those that accidentaly bump into or stumble upon it are less likely to stay long. In itself this is not a problem, it merely decreases my popularity and that is something I can live with. Unfortunately at least three people depend on blog-updates for regular news about me. I can't disappointe my truest, most loyal public, can I? (Of course I can, if you in any way doubed this, you really don't know me that well.)

Therefor I beg you, all of you, to give me a topic to write about. I'm serious, should I find out this page has mutiple visitors but inspires no comment whatsoever, I'm going to be very cross. And just so you know I'm very good at being very cross.

In someone else's eye.

Men See You As Choosy

Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait

How Do Men See You?

That should explain a lot.

Watch Out! Fantasy on the loose

I planned a lot of posts here but my messed op life rythm is not only putting me asleep at weird hours, it also overstimulates my creativity. Before I went to bed this morning I thought about a post I planned concerning how and where and when (and most importantly by whom) my birthdayparty would be organised, I ended up dreaming very weird situations with hockey sticks, polar bears (both dead and alive), biomedical doctoral thesisses, gigantic silver earrings and pink snowscooters. I don't suppose you want to know. Factual posts however might be too much ask for from me this time.

The Job

So I've started a holiday jod, the toughest so far has been getting up in time. My biorythm is now after a mere three days so seriously fucked up that I find myself awake about an hour in advance, so I get on-line as I failed to make a connection to the internet yesterday evening when I actually planned this post.

My fellow job students:

Liflaf: The sum of his every feature should make him the handsomest, nicest, most likable man I have yet set eyes on, but from the fact that I could even consider Liflaf as a nickname you will learn that one plus one does not always equal two. He's nice enough though.

Wush: Not even worth pondering about. Plain and boring. Resigned after a mere day of less than hard work.

Cut: Looks, young and energetic but fell ill on his second day. Seems OK but I haven't really had a chance to talk to him.

The work:

In one short sentence, I clean trains. And I can tell you this, people are a messy lot. The dust and the occasional candy wrapper one can live with but I've seen dirt these few days to make your stomach turn.

The loot:
- 10 cent piece
- silver earring
- an unopened can of Hot&Spicy Pringles
- a novel with the title ' Seduction in the air'

I probably won't be that rich after just this one month.

V&A: a review

It was in the easter holiday of 1992, on a trip to Vienna with my parents that I first fell in love with a museum. Not surprisingly, as I was then around eight years old it was the natural history museum housing a gigantic dinosaur skeleton that I fancied so much. However with my age my wisdom and taste must evolve also and my newest love is the Victoria & Albert Museum in South Kensington, London. (Click here to be taken to their site.)

The building itself is beautiful, the collections of art and historical artefacts are gargantuesque, the displays are elegant, not too sober, the information interesting and often interactionally educational, the staff kind and well-informed and then I haven't even told you about the video's and sound fragments. It's too much to tell you, if you go to London skip Mdme Tussaud's and Big Ben V&A is where you need to be.

Want want want - II

I want my own computer installed with a working internet connection. I want my google sidebar. I want Firefox. I want iTunes and my podcasts. I want 24u access to my number two frustration. I want a flat screen. I want a dvd player. I want boxes that work. I want to eat biscuits and drink tea in front of my computer. I want to up-load text and photo. I want my own life back. Or at least not be stuck in this emotionless room typing crying out my needs to the friends that will listen.

Hectic Days

I have returned from London. In one piece but somewhat sad after the loss of my beloved Nicholas. I have managed to paint one wall of my room in time for the scheduled installing of shelves only to be informed hours later that the shelves-installer won't show up. I have cooked a delicious Couscous (dixit the eaters) and helped to cook an even better lasagne with mascarpone the day after. I reported for duty at my holiday job, lived through the medical check and met my colleagues. I have barely eaten today and I am exhausted by the heath.


Come back some other day for a review of London musea, a detailed description of my colleagues, an analysis of my emotional state and whatever more you fancy reading.

London calling

I could be mistaken. But I doubt it and unless I'm mistaken you won't read anything new on this blog until I return home from my favourite country in the world ( as I have never been fysically out of this world I would not venture on opinions on country that might or might not be found there.) Should you wonder what I seek abroad. I'm going to see some of these for myself.

It's got to be perfect

This could be the trigger for a rant on how I won't settle for second best and if it isn't him than no one. But right now I really don't care. I heard this song on the radio this afternoon and it has quite made me happy. Good humoured at least.


Fairground Attraction - Perfect Lyrics

I don't want half hearted love affairs
I need someone who really cares.
Life is too short to play silly games
I've promised myself I won't do that again.

It's got to be perfect
It's got to be worth it
yeah

Too many people take second best
But I won't take anything less
It's got to be
yeah
perfect.
Young hearts are foolish
they make such mistakes
They're much too eager to give their love away.
WellI have been foolish too many times
Now I'm determined I'm gonna get it right.

It's got to be perfect. . .

Young hearts are foolish
they make such mistakes. . .

It's got to be perfect. . .

It's got to be
yeah
worth it
it's got to be perfect.

Parents and the ventilation of your bedroom

It is 30 something degrees, I open my bedroom window as to ensure the merest bit of fresh air and go downstairs in search of shade. Later that day my parents ask me to accompany them to the pick-up of some new furniture. As it here concerns my furniture I agree, run upstairs to get my handbag and we're off.

Or so I think. By the time my dad starts the car my mom spots the open window. She so tells me. I reply 'It's not going to rain, is it?' Which is of course not good enough to convince either parent that in the period of absence of tops 1,5 hour a clear blue sky, a very hot sun and a less than 20% humidity could change into a hailstorm.

As a result I ran up the stairs, closed my window and came back home to find my room at the comfortable temperature of 52°C. A good thing being boiled alive slowly is one of my lesser known hobbies.

Happy Birthday III

Somebody still owes me a toy tank. I love reminding people what they owe me. But today I just owe him the best wishes for a splendid 23th birthday and a very very happy 24th year on earth.

A Job

Live and as it happens I type to inform thee. I have been called to reinforce the troops of railway personel during the month of August. In other words: I HAVE A HOLIDAY JOB! You may now proceed to congratulate me and expect a somewhat nicer birthday present.

A note of warning, I will have some funds in September however do not expect to be bought drinks at all sorts of occasions my funds will vanish once my sisters know of it and drag me to the stores.

Only 90?!!!

You Are 90% Feminist

You are a total feminist. This doesn't mean you're a man hater (in fact, you may be a man).You just think that men and women should be treated equally. It's a simple idea but somehow complicated for the world to put into action.

Are You a Feminist?

Well. Uhm. Yes I do believe in equal chances and standards. No that doesn't neccesarily mean I am a manhater but to suggest that I might be a man is somewhat rash don't you think?

How to...

Recently my closest AAAA & A associate wondered how to make margarita's. I tend to not wonder long on questions that start with 'How do you...' I just look it up here. For her benefit there is also a direct link to the how to info requested.

Envy II

I have a friend. Not only is she a stunningly beautiful, intelligent and kind woman. She also has an elder brother, the near-perfect boyfriend and the telephone number of my N°6 favourite contemporary author.* Life is so NOT fair.



* Meir Shalev, for those who wonder and are afraid to click links. Read 'The four meals'. Yes, that was an order.

Coming Soon

One week from now the last of seven books is available in Belgian bookshops. Two weeks from now I hope to have it finished. For those of you for whom the picture above is not visible, I am of course speaking of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Crocs

Only just have I and the white princess plotted the end of the vile things, or I'm back home to find my mother wearing them and my father seriously contemplating buying a pair for himself. What have I done to deserve this.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

Not a week from it's release date I went to see this in the company of the white princess. Not the best Harry Potter film but far far far better than 'Goblet of Fire' though my dislike of it's filmic rendering might originate from my favouritism towards the book. All in all these are just complicated and possibly wrong language constructions to say that this is a good film which might even appeal to other than the regular HP- fanbase.

Regional holiday

11th of July so in Flanders we celebrate havinf defeated an army of Franch knights. I' d rather not bother you with the contradictory details of how Flemish this day is and how I am (not) proud of my flemish identity. Suffice it to say I'll be busy today and it is rather unlikely that I'll be busy celebrating.

Kickass Cook

At least two people have complained about my cooking so excuse-moi that I do not entirely believe it. On the other hand, nobody makes cauliflower curry like I do. That has to account for something.

You Are an Excellent Cook

You're a top cook, but you weren't born that way. It's taken a lot of practice, a lot of experimenting, and a lot of learning.It's likely that you have what it takes to be a top chef, should you have the desire...

Are You A Good Cook?

200th

This is my twohundreth post this year. This calls for a celebration. What do you think I was baking cookies for anyway. Check here for a recipe in Dutch, or make sure to be in Ghent the following weekend and you might get a taste.

On a side note a few posts back I told you I was worried not being able to please my regular visitors with frequent updates should such odd anxieties sping up in the future you will know not to pay attention to them. And now I'm off to get inspiration for my next 200 posts.

Envy

Think what you will, I am not envious of people who have the opportunity to go abroad, who bathe in the sun and practise their language skills with locals instead of badly translated B-rated films. But I am jealous of anyone who has stood before the Sagrada Familia, who has witnessed in his/her own eyes the genius of Gaudí, who has cassually walked through Park Guëll and drank overpriced beer at Las Ramblas.

Everybody who fails to bring me pictures or a postcard shall feels my wrath, the fact that I have been seriously and serially ignoring/ insutling you for the past few months, plotting your untimely death or worse and thinking of unfriendly words to say at your funeral is not an excuse.

Will clean for resting place.

The title pretty much sums it up but you guys always want to know more so...

Friday I'm going to Ghent and I intend to stay there until sunday evening, meaning I will need a bedroom twice. Alas I already returned the keys of my old room but I haven't yet got furniture in my new room so I must either return home after the D'n'D session I plan to attend friday, stuff my backpack with enough energy drink to keep me awake and alive for three consecutive days, or bribe some of my Ghently residential friends with pesto bianco. Betting on three horses will in this case surely fail.

Want want want

Because I seem to have nothing else to do, I've made a list of things I'd like get for my birthday. Remember: when in doubt buy me something from this list and a tube of glitterglue.

• birthday letters (not cards, they're too short, ugly and boring)
• colourful socks
• colourful candy
• cute stationary
• toys for my pet fish
• a peppermill
• cookingbooks ( I am grossly underinformed of South-American cuisine)

Read a book instead.

For at least a forthnight I will not have the unlimited acces to internet I am used to, so you may not find a new post here whenever you come by. Bear with me and check the left, there's more then one weblog worth the while.

Parallel Polygamy

Read the title of this post. Now carefully read it again. Don't ponder upon it, don't wonder how it came into the conversation this evening, don't - by now you should know this- be surprised that I think this word combo is so friggin' cool I just have to find a way to use it more and more often and above all don't ask for the original meaning. If I were to hear it for the first time I 'd think it to be a socio-anthropological term covering the being married to several persons at the same time but not making all the individuals part of the same marriage. For example A is married to B, C and D. B is married to A and X but not to C and D. Do leave questions and comments in the section below.

Hurt by Kermit

Yes Please

I'd be crying for laughter if I wasn't already simply crying.

I wish I were a lesbian

'Why?' Is a question answered easily enough. I like women. Women like me. Men are stupid insensitive pigs. Unfortunately that's not the end of it. So far the type of girl that has tried to chat me up is a bimboish naive ugly whould-be fashionista, not the pretty from the inside-out intelligent funny feminine person I might fancy. And if my bride-to-be is one third as bad as I am she is going to be one frightfully nagging bitch, making my life the living hell I imagine it to be.

Conclusion: A simple* man is still preferable. Cunnilingus has never been my thing anyway.

* To be read as ignorant, shallow, hopeless.

Oops I did it again II

I said: 'You're OK.' Of a guy and I believe that at the moment I even meant it. And I wasn't even drunk.

I hate myself.

Things to make my day (or not)

A: The young and rather gallant Polish workman that greets me in what seems a Slavic version of my mother tongue, being in front of the building next to the library and being asked whether THAT is the library with two women pointing at the building that does NOT have the word library spelled out on it's rooftop in 4ft high letters, sitting on a bench along some flowing water and halfway through page 56 being interrupted by a stray dog that decides he wants to sit next to me with his head in my lap and doesn't even drool on the only jeans I have at this point, alternative plurals: Indonesia style, supplying myself with candle-making essentials, instructing people on how to varnish their wooden floor and a new Sue Townsend book.

B: The not so young and less gallant un-Polish workman that practically forces me to get out of my well-paid for dwelling so that he and his minions can take out a window, cover my entire room with dust, decide to wait with putting in the new window untill I back at around 1:45pm, make me wait for my lunch and tempt me to look out of the hole in my outer wall so that I have a direct view on one of the minions taking a leak.

Crust

So I have these friends, right? And they have a fully equipped kitchen- that means they have an oven and a spice rack. So occasionally for example when I feel like making spinach gratin, I invite myself over and make their pots and pans dirty of which they have never yet complained. I think it's because they're to busy devouring crust. The way they eat it you'd think I'm the only person who knows how to make crust.

PG-13

Your Life is Rated PG-13

Your life isn't totally scandalous, but you definitely don't shy away from adult themes!

What is Your Life Rated?

Spices, candles and witchcraft

Missing in the inventory:

• box of gold glitter
• box of red/pink glitter
• box of silver glitter
• box of blue/purple glitter
• beads and sequins in any colour or material
  
• gold paint or make-up
  
• pink candles
• white candles
• yellow candles
• green candles
  
• silver candles
  
• dark blue candles
• black candles
  
• rose incense
• sandalwood incense
• musk incense
  
• white silk
• pink silk
• red silk
• lavender blue silk
  
• green string
• gold string or thread
  
• scarlet ribbon
• orange ribbon
  
• white ribbon
• purple ribbon
• blue ribbon
• green ribbon
  
• (light) blue cloth
• square of cheesecloth
  
• red cloth
• black cloth
  
• red cotton
• blue cotton
• white cotton
• white muslin
  
• green velvet
• pink velvet
  
• lipstick in an earthy colour
• a bell
• a dozen small bottles and/or vials
  
• feathers
• magnet(s)
• beeswax
  
• slippery elm powder
• golden seal powder
• milk powder
  
• dried passion fruit seeds
• dried basil
• dried rosemary
• dried rue
• dried marjoram
• dried yarrow
• dried hops
• dried meadowsweet
• dried dill
• dried coltsfoot
  
• dried vervain
  
• lavender essential oil
• lemon or citrus essential oil
• coconut oil
• almond oil
• rose essential oil
• sandalwood essential oil
• vanilla essential oil
• anise essential oil
  
• ylang-ylang oil
• patchouli essential oil
• pine oil
• coriander oil
• jasmine oil
  
• dried lavender
• lemon grass
  
• mastic
• cornstarch
• wormwood
  
• camellia
• comfrey
• ginger
• mimosa
• pansies
  
• saffron
• cardamom
  
• violets
  
• ginseng
• vetiver
  
• nutmeg
• aniseeds
• thyme
  
• clove
• bay leaves
• wheat
• catnip
• myrtle
  
• valerian tea leaves
• henna
  
• rock salt
• beach sand
• small stones
• heart shaped stone(s)
• handful of white pebbles
• acorns
  
• peridot crystal
• carnelian
• moonstone
• lodestone
• rhine stone
  
• citrine
• boji
  
• rose quartz
• amber
  
• tiger eye
  
• baby rattle
• man-shaped cookie cutter (metal)
• old (rusty) keys
  
• pink writing paper
  

Conclusion: I have alot of working, saving and shopping to do before I am a fully equipped witch

Parents and Your Mail

Imagine having 99% of your regular mail delivered at home. Home as in 'the place where your parents live'. They open all the mail that doesn't explicitly state on the front '100% confidential'- they will leave you to open these few but try to read over you shoulders or wink and nudge over dinner until you practically shove it under their noses to prove you DON'T have a secret lover. Then they phone you tell you, you received mail and what was the content. Then when you go home for the weekend they tell you here is you mail with all the envelopes (not even carefully) opened and filling you in with the details while you are trying to read it for yourselves. The following day after you have put your letters back in 'your' wooden incoming mail-box, they will ask 'Did you read all of those?'. *sigh*

Could be that I'm overly criticizing but my bet is on it that I could tolerate my parents a lot better if they stopped trying to know everything about me. It might for example inspire me to trust them and make me feel comfortable about telling things that they now try to find out in ways that are rather invasive towards my privacy.

Och, that poor boy.

Mein Gott, what have I done?! I can barely believe it. I have brushed my teeth and rinsed my mought twice, I may have to wash it out with soap to be fully cleansed.
Mere hours after being pinched in the butt by some random possibly not fully sober ( it's hard to tell the foul stink of alcohol was neatly concealed under the stench of fat, bbq sauce and garlic) stranger. I actually felt pity for a man. I have said in audible voice and not even my regular mutter: "Och, that poor boy". You have reason to suspect something is not well.

Lessons for Men: A

You may assume that a woman wants to go to bed with you if you are both sober, kissing each other and she is unzipping your pants. If for example, a fully clothed woman walking across the street turns her head in the direction of the cry "Hey you, with the pink T-shirt" to cast the shouter a look that says "If my eyes were bullets there'd be hole in your forehead and if you were standing beside me you might have had to permanently broke off any plans you had in the direction of producing offspring." and thereby accidentally meets his eye (him being you), it is not -I repeat NOT- okay to hastily cross the street nearly causing a car to crash into a cycler and two walking girls, tap the woman who would have your guts for breakfast if she'd get away with it on the shoulder, pinch her butt and say "Pussy have you got any plans for tonight?"

If you recognise this situation, you damn well deserved the smack on your head. You damn well deserved an elbow in your ribs, the unsoft touch of a woman's knee in your groins and a punch in the face to make your nose bleed also, but I unlike others know boundaries.

Self Esteem

No surprises there. The question is, as always, HOW?

You Have Low Self Esteem 64% of the Time

You tend to blame yourself when things go wrong, regardless of whether it's your fault or not. You're anxious to please others and rely too much on their opinions. Learn to please yourself first, and your confidence will soar.

How is Your Self Esteem?

It's Happy Bunny

Well it isn't but nonetheless I suggest you deal with it. I won't.

The Experiment

Today, in a prolonged state of post-exam stream of impracticable creativity, I baked chocolate cakes in the microwave.

Batch I:
Bitability: 100 aka rock hard
Taste: -5 aka burnt chocolate

Batch II:
Bitability: 0 aka sticky dough
Taste: 6 aka doughy brownie

Batch III:
Bitability: 10 aka perfectly squishy
Taste: 10 aka not so doughy brownie

There goes my reputation as a superb cook.

Unreconcilable Expectations

Quote #7

How true this is.

I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Robert McCloskey, State Department spokesman (attributed)

Weather

Today we've had; spring drizzle, early summer sun plus fluffy clouds, hail storm, lightning, thunder, autumnlike downpour and swift rapidly darkening rainclouds. Not exactly summertime weather. Not even in Belgium. Maxi mushi. I'm sure the princess will agree.

Purple II

You Need Some Purple in Your Life

Purple will make you feel ambitious, independent, and creative. And with a little purple, you will project an aura of individuality. If you want more extravagance, you've got to get a little purple in your life! For extra punch: Combine purple with green or orange The downside of purple: It can evoke sad feelings The consequences of more purple in your life: You will feel an increase in your artistic abilities You will find balance in the most chaotic parts of your life You will feel calm and will be hard to disturb

What Color Do You Need?

Women's Liberation Movement

Very little of the above holds true for me, but as long as woman is made to suffer for the mere fact of being a woman, the battle isn't fought, isn't over, isn't won.

Comforting

I have great experience in comforting. People are always telling me to cheer up, to look on the bright side, to cry it all out and start anew. Patting me on the back, hugging, force-feeding me chocolate. It's the fact they care (or pretend to) that somewhat cheers me never the words or the gestures. I often think or rather wish that I would be better at it, that I when faced with the despair of another would have the empathy it takes to lift his/her spirit.

But today, all I can think of is to pick up the phone, ask her to come over, offer to provide supper and a shoulder to cry on, suggest a short time away from it all, tell her to get a grip as so often she has told me. It doesn't matter I'm going through a similar phase, it helps nothing that I too am hurt. I can only feel as helpless as when it is I that needs comforting.

Rain II

Apparently this is the second post about rain. I just love rain. It's so beautiful and so violent. I could not not like it. There is also a twidge of thunder and lightning coming along but I really have to get to bed now. I'll see the damage tomorrow.

Story of my life in a short anecdote

Everybody gets tired of staying indoors all-day don't they? So at around 9:30pm I decide to take a stroll in the park, if daylight and occupation level of benches allows for it maybe even sit down for a while and read at bit. ( Ach the lure of a newfound Sue Townsend book) of course it is June, even in Belgium this means at least a slight chance of agreeable temperatures at nearly sundown, so pretty much every suitable desirable spot was occupied. Never despair they say so I act the crazy eight-year old that I actually am and start taking pictures of bark and leaves, getting bored at bark five (I'm eight years old after all) I spot a quiet place an decide upon it. While moving at slightly higher than normal walking speed along the shortest possible line to my spotted seat I am addressed by a total stranger.
'Hey girl, can I talk to you?' I give him the look- expressing my resentment at being addressed as 'girl', make no comment but think 'You already are talking to me'. I consider the conversation closed and move on my way, he leaps up takes two steps towards me and says 'Can we sit some place together, I want to talk to you'. I cast him another look - meaning: I figured as much when you first spoke but I DON'T want to talk to you, and I say (in a very uninviting tone) 'I'm just talking a walk to get some fresh air, I should be studying' (which was only partly a lie). 'Then can I have your telephone number?' 'No, I don't give my number to strangers.' 'But this is the way people get to know each other.' Casting the yeah right-look. 'Whatever.' And I make for home mildly annoyed not being able to read a chapter or two in the evening glare.
This is what happens when you have too high expectations of men. I thought it was obvious that I was not interested in talking, that I wanted me-time and that in my eyes men are a life-form two grades lower than earthworms. I thought black men were good at body language. I thought evasive answers were preferable to insults. Of course I could have been clearer but smacking someone on the head seems such a violent way of saying 'Get you're hands of me and no I won't be here again tomorrow'. Is there a mathematical rule revealed to boys only in which 'girl with big breasts' equals 'cheap whore'? I mean, seriously, is there?

Happy birthday to me

I'll be 23 in exactly three months and it's a horrid thought. 23. And I haven't achieved anything yet. Possible exceptions are; a circle of close friends, the perfect cauliflower curry, 4 pages of a Nobel prize worthy novel and the knitting of multiple tops and scarves nobody asked for. Nothing to be proud of. Nothing.

You may gather from this that the bad mood is back. Don't tell me to eat chocolate, don't 'wiiiiie', don't talk to me, don't bother; I have to learn to make it through the dark spots alone, after all it's merely what everybody else does.

Tattoo Thought

A thought for the recently tattooed cooking coach. Although she may already know that she kicks ass and is way more cool than any of us.

Help

I appear to be in danger of becoming unstoppably content with my life, only one step away of happiness. It will only last as long as this day but still the thought is frightening.

On a side note: Read Jay McInerney. The guy's a genius.

Edit: I've even started cleaning up. And found a knife back, now this calls for a celebration.

Messing Up

How wrong can they be? Muhahaha

You Are a Little Messy

You aren't the cleanest person in the world, but you're definitely not a slob. You clean up when you have the time, but you're realistic about what you can get done. Generally, you're pretty organized and tidy - though you may have a few hidden messes. You eventually get around to making things spotless, but you do it on your own schedule!

Are You Messy?

A lunchbreak with youtube

I'm bored and then these things happen.

Kill thy neighbour

I stumbled upon it. Read it as I did here, or simply read on.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

Dead Sexy

Upon suggestion of my elder sister. Why not post some eye candy that has passed on to the next world?!

Clickety

Just for the heck of it. And maybe because it's more fun than Buddhist texts in Classic Chinese, I've started a new blog. One with pictures. Those that want to join have but to ask. Those that want to visit have but to click. Or look on the left.

Listen...

It's unlikely to be the advice I'm going to give my child, but I wish someone had told me when I was ten years younger.

Contentment

Tired of studying already I flee to my room. And as I logged on to MSN this phrase popped in my head: 'In contentment lies enlightenment'
I'm not really sure what it means yet. I'm not even sure whether it's an original thought or whether maybe I've read it somewhere and remembered as it is applicable to my situation, but i'm damn sure it is true.

Big mouth?

So true. So very true.

What People Think of Your Mouth

People see you as both flirtatious and intimidating. Your friends are secretly put off by your seductive powers. And strangers either fear you or obsess over you - sometimes both. No way to fight it - you're a natural vamp. Or rake.

What Does Your Mouth Say About You?

Chocolate Milk

I am not so well. I will not be in touch. I wish to be left alone. I have been hurt. I am paining. All hope is not lost to have the friend I so very much wanted but it will take a lot of swallowing my pride. I'm not ready for it yet. But I have Chocolate milk to comfort me in the meanwhile.

Rant III

A lot of somebodies had beter not be disturbing me today. Or wait. They already have. As if it isn't good manners to ask if someone wants/needs/appreciates company. As if silence and monosyllabic answer aren't clue enough for someone who has known me my entire life. As if it wasn't more than obvious that I'm in a gloomy gloomy mood. And by the way, since when does 'can I bother you five minutes I need to print something urgently' mean 'I'm going to stay at your plave for nearly eight hours, I'll complain about the dirt, crumble my breakfast over your keyboard, eat half your lunch and laugh at my own insignificant jokes'? Oh enlightenment, were art thou?

Heaven is a place on-line

Honestly, what did I want a man for, again? Here is everything I ever needed and wanted.

A dinner date and more unfortunate decisions

The first miserable exam, and what do I do?! Not study harder, not stay at home and pre intensive study read the summery I was so generously provided with by my dinner guest, not be sensible and get to bed early, not get him out of my head, oh no. I cooked my star recipe* for my favourite sister, we drank wine, we went to a café, we were interrupted in our man bashing and beer drinking by a not unattractive young man with a knowledge of Classic Chinese poetry, we went to another café and were joined at our table by a friend of a friend and his friend, we waved and kissed goodbye wishing each other luck and I spent another hour or so reorganising my music library before being to tired for anything but sleep. Nonetheless I woke before midday, ate properly, studied as may be expected from a diligent student, worked on my novel** , wrote mails, drank tea, posted a recipe on this blog as promised and I still feel energetic. A good thing that I have yet to do my exercises or I might be in mood swing inspiring hallucination energy high; And believe me you don't want to see me in such a state, if you want to see me at all.

* Cauliflower Curry; click here for a dutch recipe
** 'working on' here meaning deleting two chapters and starting anew on chapter c

Stumble Check

Inevitably the posts on this blog have been few lately. I realise it and feel inclined to apologise to whosoever checks my blog daily for recreational purposes, please realise that I fully sympathise and know what you are going through. I too have exams. but there's the knack; exams cause such a wave of creative energy that I simply cannot ignore the call of working on the novels I started so long ago and it leaves me little time to fill this on-line journal with my self loathing and witty comments on the stupidity of men, I have now another forum for that.

However I have not forgotten you. Recently I have stumbled upon this page, and if you're bored for three seconds, check it out.

Scrapcooking

Regular visitors of my profile may know it already. The lucky few that I initially invited to join and their boyfriends have known since set-up and now all of you know: I've started yet another blog. Click on any of the various links in this post to be taking there.

Should you feel like joining, here is a list of requirements:
-read and write Dutch fluently
-a passion for food and drinks

and that's it leave a comment (here) or mail me.

Mann Booker Prize

A Prize that I intend to win one day and while I am not winning it, I'm reading a sample of what a great mind that has received the honour (and rightfully so) is capable of.

Bored of all Things

The sixth month of the year rapidly approaches and so for all students the time of seclusion draws near. No more surprise visits to friends that live nearby, no more film marathons, no more idle bantering on benching along rivers while sipping tea or wine or port, no more informal dinner parties, no more of anything until the seventh month has begun. I've barely started waking up early, and making notes on a compulsory read or already I am bored. Not so much with the subject of my study for the geopolitics of Central Asia are indeed interesting enough to deserve my attention but with the whole idea of having to go through this period again. Usually I'm company enough for myself but when there is absolutely nobody around all the regular hobbies are stupid too, which regrettably* doesn't stop me from doing them.

* Even less time in a day to get things studied.

Eye Colour

Your Eyes Should Be Green

Your eyes reflect: Striking attractiveness and danger What's hidden behind your eyes: A vivid inner world

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

D&D: Llewyne Lith Lye

Third son of Lith Sillin Growl-Lye, steward to Unther's evil archduke Dagard the fifth. He is banned from the castle and the whole domain at the age of 6 for saving test-kitten from drowning in the palace pond- a far to good act for the archduke to tolerate, thus learning very young to mistrust everyone. He is raised by a troupe of wandering halflings, but grows more and more discontent with the world and his position in it as he nears adulthood. At age 21 he leaves his troupe and travels to Narfal in search of a famed halfling seeress dame Eva, hoping she can look deeper into his fate.

In Belgorod he learns that Damara - a county he must pass to get to Narfal-is in turmoil, not afraid of fighting evil he gets on his way together with a warmage who has business in Barovia. They meet Piotr and Ilonka, brother and sister who are fleeing for a vampire lord, an army of werewolves and undead and the queen of winter. Barely have they arrived in Barovia, made camp in the local tavern and met a small troupe of adventurers or at nightfall they are attacked. Having no experience with undead fighting Llewyne is tricked into heroics and soon falls. "Luckily" he is stabilised and bitten by the vampire overlord Mikhael.

Having already an immense hate for the forces of evil that try to control him, Llewyne seeks to redeem himself and destroy Mikhael, he volunteers for the undead army that as one of four parties in the Alliance besieges Belgorod. Chosen as part of an elite gang that must kill king Vasilli he sees his chance, sneaks into the castle and tells the king of the conspiracy, the king was apparently aware of it (having his own spies in the enemy camp) and he is asked to lead the murderers into the trap. Due to bad timing, he manages only to take the spy, Gareth and Vladislav Mikhael's minion to the king's bedroom. Failing to take immediate action he is turned and must flee to his coffin in the woods. After regeneration he once more tries to strike a deal with king Vasilli, offering his lifetime services if after the war and Mikhael destruction he may be ressurected and permitted a month's leave to travel to Narfal and learn more on his life from dame Eva.

Pirates of the Caribbean III

Contrary to what my learned colleague* made believe not the best film I could have picked from all those now showing in theatres, but nonetheless good entertainment.
* the male half of this enchanting duo

Bombay Gold

aka Bombay Sapphire gin and apple juice. The best invention since vegetarian lasagne with extra garlic.

Dirty Mind

During the watching of my first Star Wars film ever, I exclaimed something in the like of "Is there something a droid cannot do?" Upon which came the reply " Making little droids." Ever since I've been having disturbing recurring dreams of R2's having sex. Do I qualify as a pervert now?

The song of old lovers

A song that for me has always been a source of thought and inspiration, if not motivation to keep looking for a love that will last twenty years and more.

Jacques Brel
LA CHANSON DES VIEUX AMANTS
1967


Bien sûr nous eûmes des orages
Vingt ans d'amour c'est l'amour folle
Mille fois tu pris ton bagage
Mille fois je pris mon envol
Et chaque meuble se souvient
Dans cette chambre sans berceau
Des éclats des vieilles tempêtes
Plus rien ne ressemblait à rien
Tu avais perdu le goût de l'eau
Et moi celui de la conquête

Mais mon amour
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l'aube claire jusqu'à la fin du jour
Je t'aime encore tu sais je t'aime

Moi je sais tous tes sortilèges
Tu sais tous mes envoûtements
Tu m'as gardé de pièges en pièges
Je t'ai perdue de temps en temps
Bien sûr tu pris quelques amants
Il fallait bien passer le temps
Il faut bien que le corps exulte
Finalement finalement
Il nous fallut bien du talent
Pour être vieux sans être adultes

O mon amour
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l'aube claire jusqu'à la fin du jour
Je t'aime encore tu sais je t'aime

Et plus le temps nous fait cortège
Et plus le temps nous fait tourment
Mais n'est-ce pas le pire piège
Que vivre en paix pour des amants
Bien sûr tu pleures un peu moins tôt
Je me déchire un peu plus tard
Nous protégeons moins nos mystères
On laisse moins faire le hasard
On se méfie du fil de l'eau
Mais c'est toujours la tendre guerre

O mon amour...
Mon doux mon tendre mon merveilleux amour
De l'aube claire jusqu'à la fin du jour
Je t'aime encore tu sais je t'aime.