Pride and Prejudice

"In vain I have struggled. It will not do. My feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

Mr. Darcy

How I wish I could tell him, but he already knows so what is there to be done? Here: a youtube clip. Some eye candy never goes wrong.

Enough

Every now and then it jumps at me. From behind corners and out of the shadow at times and in place I didn't expect to see him. The realisation of how much I am still in love.

Not obsessively as some have suggested.

But enough.

More than enough to be just happy when I catch a glimpse of him, enough to be jealous of every woman he looks at, enough to be unhappy because he'll never love me, enough to sometimes wish I'd never met him, enough to make my heart skip a beat when he smiles at me, enough to adore the ground he treads on, enough to make my knees grow weak at the thought of being in one room.

But other than that I feel nothing. Is this what she means with "Accept"?

Accept

"Accept", she said, "and then get on."

As if it was easy. She didn't answer the question "How?"

Talk

We should talk. We should. Maybe we should have talked in October/November, but I'm pretty sure I didn't have the courage back then. And I'm not wholly sure I'll have the courage now, but it feels like something I owe him AND myself.


I also should have talked to somebody else, somewhere in August. I know what I want(ed) to be said, but they're men so how do I get my message across?

Quote #3

Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.

Steve Martin

Unrain

And the best part about it not raining, whilst still being bad weather is that I can hang out on playgrounds so thoughtfully integrated in public parks for the pleasure of people 1/3 my age without being reprimanded, scorned or maybe even seen.

Rain

The best thing about the rain is that nobody sees when you cry.

Two parties- part two

I've arrived home. Home in my student's room at least. What can I say?! I hope neither host regrets having invited me. I certainly don't regret meeting a bunch of new people, having a chat with friends/ acquaintances that go far and not so far back, being lent a bicycle, drinking (in that order) two glasses of wine, one glass of Piña Colada, one small glass of Amaretto, one glass of Piña Colada, three glasses of water, two glasses of Piña Colada, three glasses of juice, two glasses of Coca Cola, a glass of Piña Colada, one small Amaretto, a glass of Piña Colada, two glasses of water and a rather large glass of Amaretto.

It was great fun to see my friends Thomas and Benny again, it was somewhat less fun to have to realise again he ( Mr. Way-Out-Of-My-League) doesn't really like me that much.

Two parties

Usually I have no social life whatsoever. And suddenly there are two birthday parties at the exact same time, in a totally different part of the same city, where my attendance is wanted (or at least that's how I interpret an invitation).

How do you choose between the birthday festivities of a good friend that you see way to little or the party thrown by a recently acquired brother (ie the older brother you always wanted and now finally sort of have)?

How many reasons do you need?

On Planet Ugent I bumped onto this link, I off course already knew all of this but in case somebody still wonders why Mr. Way-out-of-my-league, here are the reasons.

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they're well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I've never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They're useful. In this tech-savvy world, it's great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They're more romantic than they're given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like 'em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like 'em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They've got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it'll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they're more attentive than guys who "have more options". Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they'll likely have mental lists of all the things they'd love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I'm not really familiar with this myself, but I've friends who've been intimate with geek guys and it's raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They're relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you're not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won't have to worry much about your geek guy getting his "groove" on with club hotties because, frankly, he'll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won't have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he'll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I've seen this happen.
Me: "Eww. Victoria Secret's Models... They're so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!"
Geek Guy: "ooooooo..."
Me: "Hey!" *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: "What?"
Me: "Never mind..."

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you'll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he'll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn't want to go someplace with you, you won't have to worry much about what he's up to. You'll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It's ok. He's used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren't jerks. I can't stress this enough. You'll more likely get "Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!" than "Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on..." They're awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They're rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won't care. He does too! They won't get pissy if you don't wear make-up or don't want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won't try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They're usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won't have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he'll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You'll almost never have to hear, "Yaw dawg whazzap!!" plop out of their mouths. Unless it's in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get "wasted", so you won't have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that's a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than "DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!" Believe me.

Quote #2

It is bad luck to be superstitious.

Andrew W. Mathis

Quote #1

It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that virginity could be a virtue.

Voltaire
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778)

Barcelona

It just so happens that nearly everyone I know that has ever done any bit of traveling has been to Barcelona or has plans to go soon. Which is pretty annoying as I've been wanting to go since I was eleven or so. I know people who made a one-week city trip to Gaudi's city and never even bothered to make pictures of the Sagrada Familia for me ( yes, mom and dad, I AM talking about you). Why does nobody ever bother to invite me? Seriously, must I beg?

Well as you won't miss me, I'm going to Vienna this summer. When faced with the fact of no true friends one must not neglect one's first loves.

Cashback

A movie, some dinner, conversation, a chance to try on some else's glasses and a goodbye kiss. What could be more simple, what could be more fun?

The facts: 17h30 local time I went to see Cashback, which was short but lasted longer and in a good way too. Afterwards our party of four split up and the singles went for a bite. It was fun.

What more can I say, there is nothing more. No reader, don't think I left out any gory little details. There are none. I just had a good time.

Note to self: when time and money allow; indulge in impulsiveness. You're at your best when not overthinking things.

Dear L.

Dear L. ,
Remember the last kiss you gave? I wonder if we could do it all over, so that maybe I could forget about Q. Who is much more my type, much more the man of my dreams, much more handsome and much more everything, including in love with a goddess with whom I could never compete.
Love Always,
B

Do wonder reader what it is about. I'll explain. A google search resulted in finding all personal data ( mobile phone number, e-mail, and home address) of the first man I ever fell in love with (and I mean the first post high school oh-he-is-cute in-loveness; wobbly knees, shivers when I hear his name, no lust for anything but to be with him). And I wonder whether or not to write? I spend the better half of six months after we stopped being house mates looking for a way to get in touch. The fact is that I can now, that I even know what I would ask and/or say but isn't it forbidden? Forbidden by whatever I feel for someone else?

Boekentoren

The title of this post translates as Booktower.

By it is meant a monument a 1-minute walk up my street.

Here's a picture:

It's made the finale of a game show around which monument in Flanders, Belgium deserves to get 1 million € for renovation. The Booktower will or at least should get this money because of its beautiful art deco belvedère (or so they say, even though I pass the bloody thing on a three to four times a day basis I've never made it to the belvedère and I'm not an expert on art déco either).

My whole point is: here are some youtube clips from people explaining in their dialect why the Booktower is so important, why it should win and what it means to them. Enjoy!

Two Booktowers afficionado's from my home province:



Two people in love with the tower and each other:


And last but not least, in some obscure dialect the vice-chairman of my student's club:

Browni-ism: the religion of comfortfood

Make any suggestion to me, anything at all, you may count on it that I'm crazy enough to think it's a good idea.

As such I have joined/founded a new religion and here are its commandments:

1. Thou shalt eat chocolate.
2. Thou shalt drink alcohol.
3. Thou shalt bake cake and pie.
4. Thou shalt forswear rom-com.
5. Thou shalt be free to cry whenever you bloody like.
6. Thou shalt support thine sisters who suffer as you do.
7. Thou shalt not speak highly of men.
8. Thou shalt look good, feel good, be good.

Very hardcore followers are welcome to also adopt the Ninth commandment: Thou shalt involve in lesbian sex. As it turns out that lesbian sex is highly lust triggering to men it is not wholly orthodox.

Edit: Just so that it may be clear: the fourth commandment means that all followers on pain of ex-communication will abstain from reading, writing, seeing and listening to any form of art whatsoever that proposes the one man-one woman happy ever after relationship as the only means of leading a fulfilling and worthwhile life (be it prose, poetry, drama, film, opera, architecture, performance, music, painting or any form of expression that I may have overlooked).

Edit #2: As suggested in the comments; Commandment n° 10. Thou shalt not impose hierarchy. Which means Browni-ists shall comfort all that are fed up with men. Unless they're gay because a) they're men themselves b) they understand women but c) are not available hence making them the worst kind of men alive. And also that being dumped by 5 billion men gives you any more right to be pitied (au contraire if you've been dumped by 5 billion men you're downright stupid you could have known after being dumped once that men are no good safe as sperm donors) or that baking more and better chocolate pies means you can dictate others how to deal with their grief.

a first time for everything

And do consider this as one of those. My first time knowingly typing a post that will be widely* read while intoxicated. I know I had better not, but I must.
I was at this party today, and I drunk just a twinge too much but heck how would you feel being in one (tiny) room with at least one of more than one man around whom your universe has circled the past ten months? (Plus I'm having mood swings, being drunk agrees with me)

Anyway, as far as I am a reader of body language and a picker up on not so well hidden but at the same time possibly meaningless hints, there seems to be the thing that some people think ie the boy I have spent too much typing on already, that I'm actually still in love (which I am, much to my distress) with him. Which is not like really the case as for the past 6 to 7 months I have come to feel an ardent passion for someone else ( and he knows and no I'm not going to drop any more hints because it bloody freaking obvious already).

Once again I can but ask for your patience. I do know he (the much adored) loves me not. I know he (the maybe once much adored but I can't really remember) loves me also not but thinks I love him still (or at least that's my not so sober analysis) and that kind of bugs me because I think we could be friends in an alternate universe probably but still friends, not awkward.

* widely enough for me to get my point across

Curves

Your Waist to Hip Ratio is 1.0

You are quite curvy. Most clothes look great on you.

How Curvy Are You?

And we all know how true that is. Bloody stupid tests.

Virtual Zoo: an update

Nothing spectacular; just a white-grey-light blue horse called Slecht-weer-vandaag. Check on the left -yes yes THAT left- for a closer look or to feed her apples.

Simon says

To someone in particular:




but that doesn't mean it's true. I say screw simon, you rock!

Failed

As expected I failed everything. And yes, I am telling/writing/saying this in a very matter of fact tone. What do I really care about school results? What would you care about Grammar or History or Religion or Literature or Vocabulary, if your heart were broken, your spirit dead and the will to live on a semi-permanent holiday?

Check back tomorrow and read how cooking for two rascals, knitting, sipping tea and figuring out my new weekly schedule has cheered me up. You know how I drift between very up to very down in seconds.

And if the unthinkable happens, should I still be miserable 24hrs from now, forgive me, put up with it, bear it as best you can, love or like me no less for it. I ask a lot but I tend to think I deserve it (their goes my therapist's theory of low self esteem, I do so love proving people wrong).

Edit: So maybe I should not have overly depressing stated I failed everything when I didn't even have all my results yet. which means I passed one out of three. Yooiee or maybe not whatever.

What does it mean to be Bruce?

What Bruce Means

B is for Bouncy R is for Relaxed U is for Unusual C is for Classy E is for Extreme

What Does Your Name Mean?

A handful of snow.

Sad as the death of a pet (see previous post) may render me, it's not enough to put me out entirely. Grieved I am, but it's nothing two inches of snow and Möbius band knitting patterns can't cure.

Don't trust strangers

Especially don't trust strangers with your child(ren). In an act of foolish trustingness I allowed a house mate to care for my beloved Ganesha for the period of 24hrs, she returned him nine years old and stone dead.

Hairy toes. I love hairy toes.

Sometimes these things bump into your head. Those of my readers who are acquainted with this book, will maybe recognise the title of this post. Question of the day; are hairy toes sexy?

Waltz

Very very very early this morning, I was asked for a waltz. A twitch short of 'My lady, may I have this dance?' but still standing up, bowing slightly forward, reaching me a hand, an inquisitive look on the face, a kiss on the hand afterwards and no reproach whatsoever for ruining his ballroom dance enjoyment by trampling his feet like a herd of mad elephants. Had I worn a gown, a dress, a skirt even, I'd have felt like a princess.

But I guess it only goes to show that if you show enough cleavage, any man can turn into a gentleman.

Jamie Bamber

My love coach cannot but agree that it's high time for a new 'crush' pic. And don't you think this guy looks damn good? Not my type but eye candy just the same.

Nicholas

I had a not so bad day today, getting used to my new electronic toy ie a digital camera which I've baptised Nicholas. For obvious reasons I can't blog a picture but rest assured that from now forth more pictures of my daily life will appear.

As I said today wasn't too bad, a knitting club gathering, a terrific meal, a new toy to play around with, and an AAAA&A gathering tomorrow to look forward to. But the bad part is when I have to walk home alone and it's probably not even ten minutes but it helps remind me how alone I am with no one to call. Just my luck to run out of telephone credit.

Yevgueni

Lest I am run over by a truck, hit by a meteor or decide to put a bullet through my brain, I'll be attending a concert of these guys in six hours. And of course there's a youtbue clip. But I promise it's the last one (for today and maybe even this week).

Kvraagetaan: the lyrics and a youtube clip

Google Analytics teaches me that 40% of the people that find my blog through a google search, were looking for lyrics for Kvraagetaan. Though I am not known for my empathy, disappointing so many people I don't even know seems rather cruel. Here you go: Lyrics.

kvraagetaan

makkik binnen makkik binnen om een lieke te beginnen
over de dinges die kik mij ammaal herinner
uit de goeien ouwen tijd
van rekenen en vlijt
een leven zonder zorgen ambitie of spijt
heelder dagen gaan sjotten
voor den donkere thuis
alleen maar wa ravotten
en t school daar kwam niks van in huis
drei keer durven was doen
maskes plagen liefde vragen
en al wa ge zegt da waarde zelf
me uw broek in den helft
het was zo simpel ammaal
zo simpel ammaal
zo simpel as ik vraag het aan

kvraagetaan

er was nog gene gsm gene vtm
en niemand die hannibal of murdock wilde zen
rons honeymoon carolientje merlina met de parafix
en voerdes was er niks
we mochten niks mor dejen alles
urbanus was nen held
ons pa diejen oj nog haar en we telden al ons geld veur de kermis
showen in de boksauto’s
outrun in plaats van onze commodore
er waren geen cd’s geen mp3’s
alleen mor wa cassetjes
en buurman wa doet u nu
veur ons allereerste tetjes
het was zo simpel ammaal
zo simpel ammaal
zo simpel as ik vraag het aan

kvraagetaan

derde couplet potteke potteke potteke vet
de g’ed al honderd was men eerste brevet
’t songfestival jeuj later naar bed
the reflex fl-fl-fl-flex op ons tennisracket
ja jonges we zagen het groot
we wieren ammel profvoetballer of piloot
en haten was nog geen nationale sport
alleen misschient die koteletten op ons bord
bivakpotsen sponsen broekskes karbonaaien
die knielappen die z’ aan ons broekskes wilden naaien
betsaksaai bettemakemaai
ik stop ermee wa is men schaai
het was zo simpel ammaal
zo simpel ammaal
zo simpel as ik vraag het aan

kvraagetaan

And just for the heck of it, another youtubeclip.